Becoming a family of 4, has been a wonderful whirlwind. So much excitement and newness in our life! There is this beautiful fullness too. In the fullness there has been quite a bit of transition. Sweyzie has navigated that with so much beauty and grace. Sometimes I wonder how my 5 year old does it because unlike most older siblings, she hasn't shown an ounce of jealousy. Not one! She is so selfless when it comes to serving her brother, and most of all, sharing me.
No matter how you cut the pie, I feel like there isn't enough of me to go around. Let me just be clear, I'm in no way referring to myself as a "snack", because if I were a snack, it would be the kind of pie snack that has stale crust and soured filling. I say that because more often than not I'm in great need a shower, an extra swipe of deodorant and am drowning my sorrows in dry shampoo. I digress...
All that to say, I deal with typical mom guilt because I want to be everywhere and everywhere for all of my people, however, that's just not possible.
Recently, I've noticed that my girl and I haven't had any one-on-one time, in a long time. I was blessed yesterday with the opportunity to shower her with some mommy love. She was so excited when I woke her up and said that the whole day was going to be about her.
To that she squealed, "Yay, its a special day!"
Her special day included playing hooky from pre-k, going to the "libary", eating Chik-fil-A, and falling asleep to Mary Poppins. To all that I said, "YES YES YES!"
In the middle of our Special Day, she agreed to run to Wal-Mart with me...the bane of her very existence (another example of her selfless love for me). Getting out of the car, I found some mashed glasses in the parking lot. Silly girl that she is, put them on and BAM - photoshoot. I couldn't help myself, she is one of the cutest things I have ever seen in my whole entire life!
As a mom, I want my kids to look back fondly on her childhood knowing that I was intentional in my relationship with them. Our special day has encouraged me to be more purposeful and conscious in the future, always looking for those special one-on-one moments. I want to find creative ways to speak their love language, building what we have together and always bringing the magic. As they grows to be a teenagers, there will be hard times in our relationship. I want to make the investment of time now so that we have something solid to work from later.
On a higher note, our children aren't really even ours to begin with. Yes we have legal documents binding them to us, but they have been entrusted to us by God, and we simply get to borrow them for a short time here on earth. That's something that my father in law said a year ago to me, and I've held onto that nugget ever since. I will also say that that nugget is a heavy one!
For instance, when I buy a pair of shoes, I'm okay if they get dirty as long as I can clean them up later. Im much more laxed if things are mine. Now, if I borrow something, its a game changer. I guard it and am super vigilant with it. I want to respect the rightful owner and do everything in my power to return it looking just as nice as when I received it.
All to say, I don't get to be laxed with my children, because being a follower of Jesus calls me to higher. He calls all of us higher. I royally screw the whole parenthood thing up more times than I'd like to admit in such a public forum, but in those moments, I cling to 1 Peter 4:8 and I begin again.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."
So, Go play and get adventurous with your babies.
Get on their level and speak their language.
Say yes to their crazy requests (within reason).
Stay up late & build that fort.
Do all the things, with all the love.
Have lots of Special Days!